I don't talk about it a lot, in fact, I'm sure more then half of you have no clue about it. I've always been really good with the whole "out of sight, out of mind" concept, which can be a really bad thing or a really good thing at times. In this situation, I'm not sure if it's good or bad. More then often I tell myself in this situation, it's a bad thing but it's also gotten me out of a few hard to deal with situations because I make sure they go in one ear and out the other. In all honesty, it really doesn't go in and out and this topic is always in back of my mind, I'm just really good at not showing it.
You probably have no idea what I'm talking about and I'll try to fill you in without giving you all the details, in fact, most of them you don't need to know anyway. It's hard for me to write about it because I've never actually opened up and talked to anyone other then Pablo, Amanda and Rita about it and half the time it's a short conversation that we have and I end it because I try not to deal with it. It hurts too much and my heart breaks every single time.
Over the past several years my family has had to deal with a horrible diseases (I'll call it that because that's what it feels like) that has taken over our minds and bodies. My oldest sister has dealt with some horrible situations in her life that have played a major affect on everyone she's come into contact with. You know, in school you take D.A.R.E and you learn all about drugs and then a few years later you learn about domestic violence relationships and how to get out of them and you think, "That will never happen, I'll never have to deal with that!" A few years past and it's your big sister, someone you look up to, someone who is supposed to protect you that is going through everything you learned was wrong while growing up.
I wish I could just shake her awake and remind her where she came from, who she is and what she stands for. Why doesn't she remember that? Mom used to tell us that all the time; what will it take?
Please understand, this isn't anything new. I didn't just find out yesterday all of this was going on. We've been dealing with this as a family for at least five years, if not longer. It's a disease that we fight, everyday. It's taken over everything we do as a family, from our personal daily lives to every time we get together. It's always there and it probably will never go away, I've come to accept that. She may get better and fix her life and we may be able to sit at a table together as one big family (I can not wait for that day), but the damage is done, and nothing will take away the memories.
Recently, my sister has found some much needed help and is working on the steps to becoming healthy. She's been in contact with my Uncle D and through him I have been able to get updates about her; knowing that she is safe and out of harm makes my heart feel better and knowing she is complying to everything they ask her to do makes me so happy. On Sunday, I asked Uncle D if my sister had her own room and if she was able to decorate, because if she was, I would love to send her some Scentsy to make it feel more like home. We got to talking about my sister a little more and he said that she asked about me often and asked D if he could find out if she could call me. I wasn't sure how to answer the question, I haven't talked to her since December but I agreed. I have not heard from her and I'm not sure if she will call me.
I have not been the best support in this situation. It's not because I don't love her, because I love her as much as a sister can love another sister and it's not because I don't care, because I care more then you will ever know. It's because it hurts. This whole situation is horrible. I hate the way it has made my parents, I hate the way I feel because of this situation, I hate it, I hate it, I HATE IT.
But when the phone rings and it's her, I will put all the hate and hurt aside and let her talk and I'll listen and I'll support because I know that's what she would do if it was me. I know that is what she needs and as much as it hurts me to put my pride aside, because trust me the pain and hurt is beyond measure, I will try to be there for her as much as possible.
I just ask one thing of you, if you pray, then say a prayer or if you think happy thoughts, then think a lot of happy thoughts for both her and I. Pray she continues to get the help she needs for herself and her daughter and pray that I can put the past behind us for now and support her in what she is doing today.
This by far is one of the hardest things I've had to deal with, ever.
Nothing to say
"I need another story, Something to get off my chest, My life gets kinda boring, Need something that I can confess"- One Republic
One Republic says it the best! I have writers block and can not think of anything to write about. I can write about my week or my daily adventures of being a Nanny but it's the same ol' story. Though the family I work for now is a hoot! 4 girls, all in a different age range and all of them have their own little personality. I was talking to their Mom this morning and told her I felt like I should apologize to my Mom because some of things they do, or say, I used to do and all I can do is laugh about it.
I must say that in the past two weeks, I have found a new love for music. These girls love music and they love to sing! I'm currently addicted to Tik Tok because of them; I love to put it on and listen to them sing it. It's so cute! Especially when the 4 year old does it!
It's been a short week as the girls have parent teacher conferences this week, so I'm off by 1 each day, it's been nice. Of course, I haven't done anything productive with my time, but my apartment is already clean and all my errands have been ran, so relaxing and catching up on shows I haven't watched for a while has been nice.
I'm expecting a huge order from Scentsy today! I'm getting two boxes both of which are 30 lbs a piece. That's a lot of goodness! So, I'm sure I'll be packaging up orders and watching American Idol tonight.
I'll be heading to Othello this weekend, all by myself though. The Mr. has to work and I have Scentsy to deliver and people to see! Important people too, like my best friends husband who has made it back from Afghanistan!
I'm off to get the girls up and read for school! I hope my writers block goes away soon!
One Republic says it the best! I have writers block and can not think of anything to write about. I can write about my week or my daily adventures of being a Nanny but it's the same ol' story. Though the family I work for now is a hoot! 4 girls, all in a different age range and all of them have their own little personality. I was talking to their Mom this morning and told her I felt like I should apologize to my Mom because some of things they do, or say, I used to do and all I can do is laugh about it.
I must say that in the past two weeks, I have found a new love for music. These girls love music and they love to sing! I'm currently addicted to Tik Tok because of them; I love to put it on and listen to them sing it. It's so cute! Especially when the 4 year old does it!
It's been a short week as the girls have parent teacher conferences this week, so I'm off by 1 each day, it's been nice. Of course, I haven't done anything productive with my time, but my apartment is already clean and all my errands have been ran, so relaxing and catching up on shows I haven't watched for a while has been nice.
I'm expecting a huge order from Scentsy today! I'm getting two boxes both of which are 30 lbs a piece. That's a lot of goodness! So, I'm sure I'll be packaging up orders and watching American Idol tonight.
I'll be heading to Othello this weekend, all by myself though. The Mr. has to work and I have Scentsy to deliver and people to see! Important people too, like my best friends husband who has made it back from Afghanistan!
I'm off to get the girls up and read for school! I hope my writers block goes away soon!
Weekend Wrap Up
Happy Monday! I am so glad to see Monday here, it's nice to get back into the daily routine because this past weekend was a busy one! I really didn't have a weekend and was busy from the moment I got off of work on Friday up until bed time on Sunday. I actually skipped out on FPU class this week because the apartment was a mess and I hadn't even touched the laundry. I knew if I went to class I wouldn't get the laundry done and me being stressed out about it makes Pablo stressed out about it and both of us being stressed out is never a good thing. So, I stayed home, cleaned and got all the laundry done! It was a very productive two hours!
On Saturday I hosted a Scentsy Open House in the Club House of our apartment complex and it went amazing! I was there at 10:30am and closed up shop at about 5:00. I was able to meet and touch base with a lot of residence in the complex and most of them ordered! I also booked my flights to Fort Worth for Convention in August! I can not wait to go! It's going to be an amazing time!
Once I got home on Saturday, I threw my Scentsy stuff in the apartment and ended up falling asleep until 10pm! I was so tired, I told Pablo I felt like I got hit by a train! I woke up for a few hours and then went back to bed and had a good nights sleep.
Anyway, I had a busy weekend and I'm glad it's Monday so things will get back to normal and not be so busy. I hope your weekend was as eventful as mine! :-)
On Saturday I hosted a Scentsy Open House in the Club House of our apartment complex and it went amazing! I was there at 10:30am and closed up shop at about 5:00. I was able to meet and touch base with a lot of residence in the complex and most of them ordered! I also booked my flights to Fort Worth for Convention in August! I can not wait to go! It's going to be an amazing time!
Once I got home on Saturday, I threw my Scentsy stuff in the apartment and ended up falling asleep until 10pm! I was so tired, I told Pablo I felt like I got hit by a train! I woke up for a few hours and then went back to bed and had a good nights sleep.
Anyway, I had a busy weekend and I'm glad it's Monday so things will get back to normal and not be so busy. I hope your weekend was as eventful as mine! :-)
How do you sleep?
I had such a hard time sleeping last night. It's like I have a good night and then a bad night and the cycle does not end. I'm not sure what I need to do to get a better nights rest but it's really starting to take a toll on me and my body.
If it was up to me, I'd be in bed no later then 10pm and asleep by 10:30. I always seem to make it to bed by then but find myself awake until 12 am or later. My alarm goes off at 4:30 am and those 4 hours, sometimes less, of sleep go by so quickly. Once I'm up and going I seem to be okay and not too tired but if I sit down for a few moments, the rest is history and I'm a lost cause.
So, are there any tricks that you do for sleeping? Is there something you can recommend on getting to bed and actually falling asleep? I refuse to resort to sleeping aids and if it comes down to that, I will go to the doctor and get something rather then taking over the counter stuff. I'd like to stick to home remedies for now though.
I'm hoping that tonight I'll be so tired from only getting about 4 hours of sleep that I'll hit the hay and fall right to sleep like I did the night before last. I can feel it though, my body needs sleep!!
If it was up to me, I'd be in bed no later then 10pm and asleep by 10:30. I always seem to make it to bed by then but find myself awake until 12 am or later. My alarm goes off at 4:30 am and those 4 hours, sometimes less, of sleep go by so quickly. Once I'm up and going I seem to be okay and not too tired but if I sit down for a few moments, the rest is history and I'm a lost cause.
So, are there any tricks that you do for sleeping? Is there something you can recommend on getting to bed and actually falling asleep? I refuse to resort to sleeping aids and if it comes down to that, I will go to the doctor and get something rather then taking over the counter stuff. I'd like to stick to home remedies for now though.
I'm hoping that tonight I'll be so tired from only getting about 4 hours of sleep that I'll hit the hay and fall right to sleep like I did the night before last. I can feel it though, my body needs sleep!!
I swear!
Ah! I swear I'm done changing my blog around, I finally have it how I want it and I'm not going to change it again, I swear! I took some advice from my great friend Tristan and am now using Disqus for my comments. I like the way I can customize the options and it's really user friendly. I give it a thumbs up!
Earlier I posted a long blog but I decided to delete it because it made no sense since I obviously took the password off the blog and that's what the blog was about. If you didn't get a chance to read it, I basically wrote about readers that want nothing to do with me, have no respect for me and think I'm immature but yet they still continue to come back to my blog and continue to leave their thoughts about me. If they dislike me so much I don't see why they continue to frequent my personal website.
I choose to remove the password because I want my friends and family to be able to access my blog at anytime and not have to worry about a password that has been implemented because a handful of people have made my blogging experience into a negative thing. I love to blog and I decided that nothing is going to stop me from sharing my true feelings, even if people don't agree. Those people can comment on my blog all they want but in the end, I don't have to approve the comments and let other people read what they have to say about me, in fact, I've decided to not even read comments from people who only want to put me down.
I obviously can't change the fact that I wrote the original blog that started this whole mess but I'm trying to move on and hopefully they can too. I do not have time anymore to regret posting the blog and I'm not going to change the way I blog either. It is what it is and life is still good, time to move on and better myself.
Here's to happy, real life, not holding back anymore blogging!!
Earlier I posted a long blog but I decided to delete it because it made no sense since I obviously took the password off the blog and that's what the blog was about. If you didn't get a chance to read it, I basically wrote about readers that want nothing to do with me, have no respect for me and think I'm immature but yet they still continue to come back to my blog and continue to leave their thoughts about me. If they dislike me so much I don't see why they continue to frequent my personal website.
I choose to remove the password because I want my friends and family to be able to access my blog at anytime and not have to worry about a password that has been implemented because a handful of people have made my blogging experience into a negative thing. I love to blog and I decided that nothing is going to stop me from sharing my true feelings, even if people don't agree. Those people can comment on my blog all they want but in the end, I don't have to approve the comments and let other people read what they have to say about me, in fact, I've decided to not even read comments from people who only want to put me down.
I obviously can't change the fact that I wrote the original blog that started this whole mess but I'm trying to move on and hopefully they can too. I do not have time anymore to regret posting the blog and I'm not going to change the way I blog either. It is what it is and life is still good, time to move on and better myself.
Here's to happy, real life, not holding back anymore blogging!!
Just another Manic Monday
I'm so tired I should really be sleeping but I thought I would type out a quick blog before hitting the hay. Daylight Savings really threw me off this time around and I'm not sure if it's because I actually am waking up earlier then I'm used to or if it's really the whole losing one hour thing. All I know is that I'm tired and ready for bed!
Getting up and ready for work this morning felt a little different because since The Mr. and I have been together, he's always been the one to wake up and get ready first but since I have to be there by 6 A.M., I'm the one waking up first. We'll get used to it, I'm sure, just a little different.
We had a good weekend but it went by really fast. My whole family ended up coming over for dinner on Friday and I cooked instead of us going out. It was the first time we've had that many people in our apartment but it was a nice visit! It was fun to watch the Huskies win with my Dad too! I'm excited for March Madness! I hope the Dawgs do well on Friday.
I've been looking at dresses for Ivonne's wedding and I just can not decide. I have a few months before I have to make my decision but there are so many dresses that I like and then having to pick a color is making it even more difficult for me to pick one. I think I've narrowed it down to a handful that I really like, I just need to pick the one. Forget asking The Mr. for advice too; no matter which one I say I like, he likes too. I think he's pulling my leg. ;-)
There's so much going on this week though, I wish the days would slow down a little bit. Today flew by so fast and I really didn't get anything I wanted to do after work but tomorrow is another day! Tomorrow, I MUST go to the post office and to the grocery store.
Here's to a great Tuesday and an amazing week!
Getting up and ready for work this morning felt a little different because since The Mr. and I have been together, he's always been the one to wake up and get ready first but since I have to be there by 6 A.M., I'm the one waking up first. We'll get used to it, I'm sure, just a little different.
We had a good weekend but it went by really fast. My whole family ended up coming over for dinner on Friday and I cooked instead of us going out. It was the first time we've had that many people in our apartment but it was a nice visit! It was fun to watch the Huskies win with my Dad too! I'm excited for March Madness! I hope the Dawgs do well on Friday.
I've been looking at dresses for Ivonne's wedding and I just can not decide. I have a few months before I have to make my decision but there are so many dresses that I like and then having to pick a color is making it even more difficult for me to pick one. I think I've narrowed it down to a handful that I really like, I just need to pick the one. Forget asking The Mr. for advice too; no matter which one I say I like, he likes too. I think he's pulling my leg. ;-)
There's so much going on this week though, I wish the days would slow down a little bit. Today flew by so fast and I really didn't get anything I wanted to do after work but tomorrow is another day! Tomorrow, I MUST go to the post office and to the grocery store.
Here's to a great Tuesday and an amazing week!
Almost wordless Friday Night
On President's day both The Mr. and I had the day off and we took some quality time together and went miniature golfing. I got my butt kicked but we had a great time!
That weekend, Loryn and I went to Selah to see Amanda and Kayleigh and took them to an indoor arcade. We had so much fun!
Of course, you can't forget about our lazy dog! This is how he feel asleep next to me. Can you believe that?!
A good read
The below is taken from Jon Acuff who is a member of the Dave Ramsey Team and I thought it was fitting for current situations in my life.
You can find his blog and blog post here.
Should you respond to jerks on your blog?
For the last few years, that’s been a question I’ve wrestled with. When someone said something rude or mean that comment became like a lighthouse for me. I’d regularly reply to comments that attacked me and ignore a lot of kind, very interesting conversations with other people.
Until my wife punched me in the stomach with a prediction of what was going to happen if I kept going down that path. Here’s what she said:
“If you only respond to jerks on your blog, eventually you’ll create a blog that only jerks read.”
She’s right, if you only reward bad behavior, you only create more bad behavior.
So I stopped responding solely to jerks and started responding to all types of people. Because I don’t want anything I ever write online to become a jerk watering hole, but rather a place where lots of different conversations happen.
You can find his blog and blog post here.
Catching up
I meant to write this yesterday but it turned out to be a busier day then I expected so I'll post it today! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO THE MOST UNDERSTANDING, AMAZING, GO WITH THE FLOW, LOVABLE SISTER A GIRL COULD HAVE!
We got to have lunch together and dinner together yesterday and it turned out to be a great day! We had margarita's before noon, but who cares, right? The birthday girl had fun and that's all that matters.
As far as today goes, we went from going to Seattle to not going to Seattle, from having a spa day to NOT having a spa day, instead I went and got my hair cut and have enjoyed a relaxing day before a busy weekend and starting work on Monday. I got my key and met with the new place on Wednesday evening and we're all ready to go. It's been a nice few days off, but I'm ready to go back to work.
My family is coming into town this evening so I'll get to spend some time with them and then we're going to Othello tomorrow for a while, on Sunday we have FPU and then it's back to the daily grind. It's going to be so different because I have to be at work at 6 which means I have to wake up and leave earlier then The Mr., for the last year and half, it hasn't been that way, he's excited to get to sleep in now!
In other news, my thoughts and prayers are with the people in Japan, I pray for peace and understand during this horrible time.
We got to have lunch together and dinner together yesterday and it turned out to be a great day! We had margarita's before noon, but who cares, right? The birthday girl had fun and that's all that matters.
As far as today goes, we went from going to Seattle to not going to Seattle, from having a spa day to NOT having a spa day, instead I went and got my hair cut and have enjoyed a relaxing day before a busy weekend and starting work on Monday. I got my key and met with the new place on Wednesday evening and we're all ready to go. It's been a nice few days off, but I'm ready to go back to work.
My family is coming into town this evening so I'll get to spend some time with them and then we're going to Othello tomorrow for a while, on Sunday we have FPU and then it's back to the daily grind. It's going to be so different because I have to be at work at 6 which means I have to wake up and leave earlier then The Mr., for the last year and half, it hasn't been that way, he's excited to get to sleep in now!
In other news, my thoughts and prayers are with the people in Japan, I pray for peace and understand during this horrible time.
I'm just like my Mother
My blog views have gone up like crazy the last two day, if this keeps up I may need to get another server. ;-) I'm kidding.
I woke this morning with a horrible headache and realized the wind was blowing like a mad man and I laughed to myself because I finally figured out that I am just like my mother. If it snows, her shoulder hurts; if it's raining, her foot hurts; if it's windy, her head hurts. I was just kidding about the rain one, but seriously the weather affects her body so much and I think I'm doomed.
Needless to say, I got up and took an ibuprofen 800 and so far, so good! The wind is still blowing but obviously I can't change that. Days like today make me want to stay inside and not deal with the weather but I have things I have to get done before Monday.
This weekend is Rita's birthday and I'm excited to spend Friday with her and have a girls day! She's never been to the spa so I thought it would be perfect timing to have a spa day with my sister! We're going to relax and enjoy the time together, we'll probably have lunch and a few drinks. I love my sister and she deserves to be spoiled even if it's not her birthday.
I registered for Scentsy's Convention and this year it's in Fort Worth Texas! They are calling it a Scentsy Stampede and I'm sure that's exactly what it is going to be!! I can not wait to go and meet consultants that I have networked with and just spend some time with an amazing group of people! I have no doubt it will be amazing!
I still need to post the pictures that I took a few weeks ago of The Mr. and I playing miniature golf, by the way, he royally kicked my butt. I was like 50 something over par! Haha! I can't wait to go back and play again, maybe someday it will actually be on a real golf course.
I woke this morning with a horrible headache and realized the wind was blowing like a mad man and I laughed to myself because I finally figured out that I am just like my mother. If it snows, her shoulder hurts; if it's raining, her foot hurts; if it's windy, her head hurts. I was just kidding about the rain one, but seriously the weather affects her body so much and I think I'm doomed.
Needless to say, I got up and took an ibuprofen 800 and so far, so good! The wind is still blowing but obviously I can't change that. Days like today make me want to stay inside and not deal with the weather but I have things I have to get done before Monday.
This weekend is Rita's birthday and I'm excited to spend Friday with her and have a girls day! She's never been to the spa so I thought it would be perfect timing to have a spa day with my sister! We're going to relax and enjoy the time together, we'll probably have lunch and a few drinks. I love my sister and she deserves to be spoiled even if it's not her birthday.
I registered for Scentsy's Convention and this year it's in Fort Worth Texas! They are calling it a Scentsy Stampede and I'm sure that's exactly what it is going to be!! I can not wait to go and meet consultants that I have networked with and just spend some time with an amazing group of people! I have no doubt it will be amazing!
I still need to post the pictures that I took a few weeks ago of The Mr. and I playing miniature golf, by the way, he royally kicked my butt. I was like 50 something over par! Haha! I can't wait to go back and play again, maybe someday it will actually be on a real golf course.
I'm still here...
While my blog was being updated and made to perfection I had all these ideas on what I wanted to blog about and had them written down, and then I went on a tangent and cleaned the apartment and the paper got thrown away. I was so sad! So since I lost the paper I haven't blogged about anything I wanted to blog about and besides that, I feel like I've been a little busy.
The last couple of weeks were a little stressful and busy but I really do feel like I have ridden myself of the stress and I should be on the up and up now (or I hope). I feel like we always have something to do on weekday evenings and the weekends are the same way, but I know that is the way life is. I really shouldn't complain.
Because the last couple of weeks were so stressful I haven't been following my diet the way I should be, in fact I'm pretty sure I've fallen completely off the bandwagon. I need to get back on it and I'm not sure why I've been putting it off, I just need to buckle down and do it.
I've still been trying to cook healthy dinners as much as possible, like tonight for instance, I am going to be making chicken breast, baked baby red potatoes and veggies. Last night I made beef stir fry that was so yummy! I really have been trying to be better at cooking, and I will get back to my diet that was working so well!
I know I just mentioned that I've been super busy but I promise I've also had a little fun while staying busy and I even took pictures during all the fun! I will post them as soon as I get them on my computer.
One more thing, I made Star Consultant last month with Scentsy! I am so so so excited!
The last couple of weeks were a little stressful and busy but I really do feel like I have ridden myself of the stress and I should be on the up and up now (or I hope). I feel like we always have something to do on weekday evenings and the weekends are the same way, but I know that is the way life is. I really shouldn't complain.
Because the last couple of weeks were so stressful I haven't been following my diet the way I should be, in fact I'm pretty sure I've fallen completely off the bandwagon. I need to get back on it and I'm not sure why I've been putting it off, I just need to buckle down and do it.
I've still been trying to cook healthy dinners as much as possible, like tonight for instance, I am going to be making chicken breast, baked baby red potatoes and veggies. Last night I made beef stir fry that was so yummy! I really have been trying to be better at cooking, and I will get back to my diet that was working so well!
I know I just mentioned that I've been super busy but I promise I've also had a little fun while staying busy and I even took pictures during all the fun! I will post them as soon as I get them on my computer.
One more thing, I made Star Consultant last month with Scentsy! I am so so so excited!
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